Before reading this post, please take the time to watch the Chonda Pierce video posted below.
I've recently been a part of a facebook conversation that brought me back to a familiar soap box issue I have. It's much more than a "pet peeve". It is a passion, often a raging passion... the lack of genuineness and transparency in the church. Until a few years ago, I really had no idea how to deal with this issue... then I attended my first group therapy session.
As a student in both my bachelor's and master's degree programs I was required to attend local group sessions and report on the process. Additionally, I participated in group sessions while taking courses on group therapy. In fact, I actually considered many of my classes/courses to be group therapy sessions. The professors were as concerned about where we were with our own issues as the content of the lesson plan. That left the door open for group dynamics to do their work.
The first group I attended was an Alcoholics Anonymous group. The group met at a local restaurant over the noon hour. I left the group at the end and placed a call to my dad, who happens to be a Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor, and moderator for several AA groups. I said "Dad, the meeting I just left was more like a church service than any church service I've ever been in. That's got to be what Jesus had in mind for the church." He of course agreed and we shared thoughts and experiences for a while.
I started this blog to complain, and indeed wrote several paragraphs outlining the dangers of what church has become and why it has become that way. I decided rather than complaining about how things are, I should just start doing it the right way. (If you want to know what I wrote in those paragraphs, shoot me an email and I'll send it to you.)
We should not be afraid to be transparent and genuine with one another in the church. Neither should we fear judgment, retribution, attack, disqualification or punishment. Those are God's tools if he chooses to use them not ours. All we should expect is unconditional love and acceptance from His children. Mike Yaconelli wrote a great book in 2007 before he died. It's called Messy Spirituality. I think he's got a good grasp on the church as "group".
Doing it the right way... Here goes....
Hi, I'm Kelly and I am a human.
It's been a rough couple of weeks. The economy is down, so missions giving is down, so finances are tough right now. Micah graduated from flight school in Arizona, and Alisa and I were unable to attend. That was very disappointing. Alisa had to leave yesterday to help take care of her grandmother in Texas. She has traveled a lot this year and I miss her. I have been prone to bouts of depression the last several years and suffer from anxiety attacks for which I take medication daily. (If you aren't sure what an anxiety attack is just imagine feeling like you are drowning on dry land). The stresses mentioned above exacerbate these conditions. Some nights I have trouble getting to sleep. Other nights I go right off to sleep but wake up in the middle of the night unable to get back to sleep. I just wish there was an on/off switch for my mind I could flip off at night. At this point if we were brave enough to share the above information in church we would say something spiritual like, "but God is good and he'll see me through" but in group we just say...with that I'll pass to the next person.
Charis,
Kell
